You have two problems: You are out of shape, and your boyfriend is a liar. Trust me, if you can tell you've put on a few pounds, he can tell, and he's telling all his friends about your huge ass. I don't know why he would claim you still look good. (Maybe he's cheating? Check his outgoing calls!) You and I both know that you don't look good. Here's my diet and exercise advice:
Breakfast: 1 Diet Coke
Lunch: 1 Diet Coke, 1 half Snickers
Dinner: 2 Diet Cokes, Hot Pocket
Exercise: It sounds like you haven't exercised in a while, so tomorrow I'd get up early and run about 5 miles. If there are any hills around, that's where you want to run. Don't drink the breakfast Diet Coke before the run. It'll be very refreshing afterward. Now, it's not going to be easy to run 5 miles tomorrow morning, but it's going to be even worse to run 5 miles tomorrow night, which I also recommend. That ass isn't going to melt itself away!
Do this regimen every day for 2 weeks or until you look hot again. Then apologize to your boyfriend for getting out of shape and promise him it won't happen again. Also, and I only mention this because I've had a few reader complaints, you might want to see a doctor after your two week regimen. Ask him about "scurvy" - he'll know what you mean.
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