More Rota

Today in That Guy

  • That guy is rocking Windows 95, sucka!
  • That guy has a long buddy list, if you know what I mean.
  • That guy uses AOL.
  • Hey, can I borrow a condom?
  • That guy predicts he will age well. He's got the bone structure, and he eats right.
  • That guy would have called, but he's running out of cell phone minutes.
  • That guy wonders if you could pick up the check?
  • That guy says he's still friends with his ex-girlfriends, but he means he still sleeps with them.
  • That guy tips based on cup size.
  • That guy writes on his apartment walls with black Sharpie - shards of poetry, quotes, lyrics. It makes him look and feel artsy. But he's only got like half a wall. He's definitely going to put some more up this weekend, for sure.
  • Secretly, that guy's heart was broken in 1996. He promised himself he wouldn't go through that again. He's built a wall around his heart to keep it safe. Also, she was a bitch anyway, so whatever.
  • "Are you going to eat that?"
  • Now it burns when you pee, too.
  • It burns when that guy pees.
  • That guy loves Aerosmith.
  • "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!"
  • That guy wants you to play Freebird.
  • That guy thinks your girlfriend is hot, man.
  • That guy calls them "hoagies."
  • That guy will not actually make you breakfast. Sorry.
  • That guy wonders if you've seen that show Lost. He hears it's pretty good.
  • Secretly, drunk girls are attracted to that guy.
  • That guy's been thinking about taking a road trip.
  • I hate that guy's stupid hat.
  • That guy is thinking about getting a ferret, but he's not sure his building allows it.
  • That guy stole some post-its, but he doesn't think anyone will notice.
  • That guy refers to his girlfriend as his "Alpha-Bitch."
  • That guy's coat is covered in cat hair. That guy does not have a cat. Discuss.
  • That guy is reading a "men's adventure novel."
  • That guy wants to know if I have any unused Vicodin prescriptions he can have.
  • That guy smokes two packs a day, but he's watching his sugar intake. He advises that I do the same.
  • That guy used to subscribe to Martha Stewart Living. "There are some good tips in there."

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Comments

A

What about first T.V. boyfriends? Mine was Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables. When I was 10, I'd watch him kiss Anne at the end of Anne of Avonlea over and over again.

Ro

My first TV boyfriend was Superman on Lois & Clark The New Adventures of Superman. He was awesome.

Ta

This one is really tough. I had a crush on Kirk Cameron on Growing Pains, but I wouldn't call that a TV boyfriend. Hee! I'm gonna say Doogie Howser, M.D. I always knew he would turn out to be super cool.

JQJ

The problem with dating Jack Bauer is that he will constantly remind you that the only reason you're still conscious is that he doesn't want to carry you.

He will say it every morning when you're getting ready for work, and, of course, anytime you complain.

I now have kick-ass new salt and pepper shakers that don't create an explosion of seasoning when used ungently. I also have a thermometer that is supposed to be able to talk. I'm sure it's first word will be "Daddy." I heard it say something like "Ready" but I think it was trying to say "Daddy."

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